Bed Wetting Bandit

Thanksgiving dinner was traditional. Turkey, dressing and all the fixings. We devoured the deliciousness, chit chatted with family and had a sleep over at Stuart’s mom and dad’s that night.

By the time we got back to the house on Helms, we were in a tryptophan trance, although not involuntary. We were cognizant of every single forkful we shoveled in our mouths and did so with much anticipation.

Stuart, Maddie, and I excused ourselves to his childhood bedroom with the tryptophan trance still weighing heavy on our minds, bodies and souls. Pretty sure that we were asleep before our heads hit the pillow with Maddie at the foot of the bed like every other night.

Stuart was to be at the fire station the next morning. I had no plans for the day that followed.

“Stuart, wake up, did you pee in the bed?” In a groggy, still entranced state he mumbled, “I don’t think so, did you?” I laugh every time I think about it. We both jumped up checking ourselves to see which one of us was the bed wetter. Maddie, not a move did she make. Why neither one of us tried to pin it on the dog is beyond me.

I am sure that ole heeler was thinking “my humans have lost their minds” as we felt “our areas” and looked at each other sheepishly. The culprit would have to live with the “bed wetter” distinction for the rest of our marriage. This story would be recounted to our children and grandchildren.

It was me. I was the bed wetting bandit.

I’m not sure how we determined the sodden sheets were in fact from my water breaking and not our previous notion.ย  Can you imagine the scene that must have played out? Sheets a-flyin’, grabbing of “the areas” and I am sure much sniffing commenced.

Once the mystery was solved the scene that played out was strangely calm. I don’t recall if we woke mom and dad or if they were roused by the commotion taking place down the hall.

Either way, I grabbed my bag, Stuart got dressed and we gave our faithful heeler a quick stroke and told her that we would be back to get her soon. We bid mom and dad a fearful “we will call you when we know something” and headed out the door.

We were two kids fixing to have a kid. The deck was stacked against us.

Two sparrows in a hurricane.



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