There comes a time in every relationship when you are standing at a crossroad, teary-eyed, snot running down your face, wondering what to do next. Do you run like hell with the intent of never looking back? Do you sit down in the middle of that proverbial road and cry, only to get up, dust yourself off and head back down that old familiar road? Do you stand stock still, deer in the head light eyes, not able to make a decision which way to turn if your life depended on it?
Relationship combinations are endless: mother-daughter, father-son, mother-son, father-daughter, in-laws, husband-wife and coworkers. These are the ones that have had the most impact on my life.
It’s human nature to focus solely on all of the times the other person let you down. The blindside. The sucker-punch. The straw that broke the camels back. The heartbreak derived from the expectations not met. Licking our wounds, limping away, tail tucked between our legs.
Just when you are ready to stick it to ’em, to let them feel your pain, deep within, your inner caldron starts to heat up. A ripple here. A bubble or two there. Before you know it, an angry rolling boil spews all over the place. Your failures, every mark YOU missed, every indiscretion you’ve made is the mess you are left to mop up. Truth be told, you are just standing there wishing you would have put a lid on that shit before it got out of control.
Life’s rearview mirror is a cruel teacher. In it you clearly see the times you left them at the crossroad, snotty and teary-eyed. Maybe more than once. Who are we kidding? Of course it was more than once. Hold up a dadgum minute! Isn’t this supposed to be about them? What they did or didn’t do? THEM letting you down?
I have to ask, how do any relationships stay intact? Think about it for a minute. The water under the bridge. The words that you can’t take back. Actions that can’t be undone. It’s a flipping miracle that any of our relationships withstand the crap we throw at them.
I’m starting to believe it boils down to tolerance. I don’t even know if I think that forgiveness is a key ingredient anymore. We can say that we forgive, but do we really? Did they really? I think we all think we do.
For what it is worth, I’ve decided that all parties involved better figure out how to tolerate, tuck away and move on or said relationship will ceases to exist.